TUESDAY
so this week is spring break, and i cant say that without saying it in a james franco accent from springbreakers. spraaaang braaaakuh. if you dont have this problem, count yourself lucky. i love spring break because its the halfway point for the school semester which means i am one more semester closer to being finished! also not much of a break for me because i picked up so many extra shifts at work for those that were actually going to have fun on this break. its fine, good paychecks on the way.
ok anyway this outfit is perfect for these transition days that are freezing in the morning, and blazing hot by mid afternoon. welcome to amarillo folks. so i dont know why, put the obsession with bell sleeves is so real lately. not just in my own closet, but it seems to be everywhere. do i mind? not one bit. plus, im crushing over this pink HARD. seriously, it couldnt be a more girly top if you put the actual word on it. love it. if you havent noticed, i tend to wear jeans a lot. and the jeans i have on, are from the gap. they are just my personal favorite place to buy jeans. they arent too expensive, and they last forever. the shoes are just some that i recently bought. its taken me a little bit to wear them, because when i bought them and they came in the mail, they smelt sooo bad. like straight up plastic on steroids. it was awful. so i had to let them air dry a little before i would actually wear them in public, because well, i didnt want people thinking it was ME. anyways, they are super fun, and another favorite way i like to wear them is with a solid black outfit. the colors are perfect to stand out by themselves.
and here we go with the life update.
lately something i have become very aware of is how impatient of a person i am. im not talking about getting anxious waiting for my food to come out, or waiting at a stop light either (even though both of those suck). im talking about the fact that every time i get into a new season of life, or a new situation, i automatically find myself looking past it, and wanting the next thing. i think ive always brushed this behavior off with the explanation that it was good that i was never "satisfied" with life. that i was always pushing for more.
but recently, the Lord spoke to me and said "beloved, wait"
and automatically i countered with
"wait for what?!"
no response.
"umm, can i just get an answer? just a vision?"
"beloved, just wait."
just wait.
just...
wait...
my response was to ask what i was waiting for. like he was just going to give me the answer? what would be the point of waiting? the point of being patient is being able to trust the people involved and the situation itself. i trust the people in my life, i trust The Lord. so where am i going wrong? i refuse to believe that i am doing what all girls do by planning their lives before they even happen. do i have a pinterest board of all the stuff i want in my wedding, of course i do. but one problem. no ring, no groom, no bride. im not there yet, and THATS OKAY. i hate the element of surprise. could i tell you why? probably not, they make me uncomfortable and nervous, and tbh im just plain nosey.
i made thomas open up half his christmas gifts before christmas because i just couldnt wait. and i made him open up his valentines day gift the day before because i was so excited. i know, im ridiculous.
heres the thing though. i dont think there is anything wrong with looking to the future and being excited and ready for it. but when your looking to the future so much that you dont want to be where youre at right now, theres a problem. im guilty of this. i have an INCREDIBLE life. i have a loving and supportive family who is healthy. i have sweet fur babies, and a boyfriend who never fails to show me love in a new way every day. so why can i not 'just wait'
i dont know what i am waiting for, i dont even know what i am so "excited" about with the future. this is one of the funnest times of my life, and i find myself wishing it away? no, thats not what i want to do with my days. so now i am laying something down. im putting it down on a shelf, until the Lord takes it, and puts it in my hands. my future. yes, everything my future entails. broad? absolutely. Necessary? um, yeah. today i am choosing to be happy where i am. i am choosing to be present, and i am choosing to get as much out of this time as i possibly can. because.... more than likely God is doing the same thing he has always done with me when he tells me to wait. hes teaching me something. so not only am i going to wait. im going to wait with open ears to hear, and a heart that is willing to be taught. loving myself and everyone else i come in contact with throughout my day to the best of my ability. thats what makes my day worthwhile. loving others how Jesus loves. this might be a giant mess of rambling, and that okay. hopefully it made some amount of sense.
my brain hurts from trying to make this readable.
all my best always
zoie